Marriages are part of our social strata. Church is one of such stratum. In short, the very foundation of our churches is the family. And the foundation for families is marriage. So marriages are especially church things.

You may wonder what is happening in Christian marriages today. Nobody wants to come out and say it the way it is. But the truth is that a lot happens in there that you may want to know.

A Wife’s Ordeal

A little after one month into a marriage, Stephanie came complaining to her pastor that the brother (now her husband) she thinks fell from heaven, is no longer that way. “He never shouted at me all through our dating and courtship period. He was everything gentle and fruit of the Spirit. He was loving, caring and would never hurt a fly. But now, just 30 days after marriage, he is beginning to shout at me. He even threatened to slap me if I dare flaunt his orders again. What could have come on the man I love so dearly,” the newly wedded and broken-hearted Stephanie said as she stares with a look of confusion  at the pastor’s face.

The Truth

Here’s the truth. He is still the same person you know. But marriage has a way of bringing the very truth about us to the open. Any man can tell you that he is a gentle man and may have even proven that to you all the while you courted. But the truth is that reality has set in. Pressures of life and marriage have come. And perhaps, you the woman are beginning to display your true color. He might be as surprised at you as you are as surprised at him. He is changing and adjusting the same way you are.

Get it straight, there are pressures in marriage. It comes at all of us to prove our vows and love. But what we make of them when they come is what matters in the long run. Your husband still loves you Stephanie, why don’t you just talk with him about his actions and also ask him to tell you what you are doing that he doesn’t like. Let him tell you what you are doing that is making him react the way he now reacts to you.

I Thought I Married an Angel

Ok, he’s Holy Ghost filled right, but he still has feelings. He may never have been able to master anger. And marriage will really bring out that anger in him. That shouldn’t come to you as a surprise. You too have issues with your character that is yet to be fully yielded to the Holy Spirit. Perhaps, you may not know that your mouth as a woman is your number one and greatest blessing in your marriage and it is also the most dangerous weapon in tearing down your marriage. So, how do you talk to him?

You didn’t marry an angel. He never fell from heaven. He is human and that humanness in him is what is coming to the open. But you can deal with it if you give in to the Spirit of God, who God gave the Christian to help him or her.

 

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Amos